Rugby and Halloween

Please find some images that you may or may not see at the Accies Halloween party on Saturday 30th October 2010!

We went to Falkirk last weekend and got a bonus point victory even though we had a man sent off. We are the Edinburgh Accies and we only need 14 men...

The other teams didn't do quite so well and they struggled when they had players off the field through yellow cards. Stay on the field please chaps!

Well it is a big derby this weekend and I found this on our rivals website. It made me angry and they are going to get posed some serious questions physically this weekend.  I WANT TO RELEGATE THEM!

Gav's Grumblings






Ian Barnes, erstwhile Accies coach, has this mantra about rugby: 'Rugby is a simple game - win the ball, keep the ball, go forward'.



It's not often I feel sorry for backs, but, on Saturday, I did. In February, when we last played Hill/Jills, Hayden cut them open in midfield and we were able to play with sufficient pace to support him and end up comfortable winners. On Saturday, if we had even 40% of the ball, there was a chance we could repeat that victory with our back division. Unfortunately, the set piece was a struggle, both scrums and lineouts were unsecure and a number of turnovers let us down.



At Inverleith, the home crowd encourages the players to play in the opposition's 22 rather than to try and manufacture things around the half way line. If you are only getting 35% of the ball, however, why would you want to kick it back to the opposition? Surely, with the little amount of ball, you have to try and ask a few questions? Liam, Borth, Mike and Bambi could beat their opposite numbers, so the challenge was to support them and create.



Liam settled us nicely with a couple of well-struck penalties, but there was an unease about our lead because we knew that there is only so long we can play without the ball. Eventually, Hillhead allowed their possession to yield points and we were grateful to be still in the game at half-time, 6-12.



In the second half the game opened up a bit. We scored two good tries from George Turner and conceded four tries as Hillhead comfortably put us away. We were up against it physically; it is all very well to criticise, but I remember playing against physically superior teams, and it is not much fun.



What could we have done better? We could have supported each other better, and not only when we had the ball - there was often a delay after a tackle, allowing for potential turnovers. But also in the tackle, where you need to help your team mate - in the modern jargon, scramble defence. If you go high to tackle these big guys, they can brush you off, so try to help each other and get in their faces. I watched the rugby league on Saturday morning and sometimes there were four tacklers on the ball carrier. I know Union is different, but it's all about helping your mates.



Positives: Liam looked comfortable at 10, Greg looked a useful player who will add to our options in the centre and Rob injected a bit of urgency when he switched to scrum half. Our forwards all had their moments individually, but, once we were behind, collectively, the heads went down, and it was all a bit flat.



'Win the ball, keep the ball, go forward'. We have Accies on Saturday, and they have qualified as one of the 'fabled four'. They got a man sent off on Saturday, so they will be understrength this week. We beat them last year at Raeburn - can we do it again? We need to get our set piece better, and we need to support each other better in defence and attack.



Are they better rugby players than us? Absolutely not - do it for each other.



Gav Calder

Holiday and rugby

I have been on holiday in Cyprus for a bit so I am sorry to regular readers of Poke the Blog for my lack of posts.

Just to update (home team first);

Accies lost to Peebles
Kelso lost to Accies
Accies beat Jed-Forest
Hillhead Jordanhill lost to Accies

We now sit happily clear at the top of the Division 2 table with two games to play.

I enjoy taking unbeaten records and we did just that to Hillhead Jordanhills unbeaten home record last weekend.

All 5 Accies teams won at the weekend which is most excellent and the clubhouse was jumping come Saturday night.

Check out http://www.edinburghaccies.com/ for all the chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

The rest of this month sees us take on Falkirk away and Stewarts Melville FP at home. There there is the Accies Halloween Party which is always tidy and rare.

The Halloween party will mark the end of an era as Chuggy, Rabbi Chuzbery, Papa Chango and Chuck will all be returning to Argentina.

I'm sure we will send him off in some style.

500 up

Poke the Blog blasts through the 500 visits mark!

Poke the Blog vows to keep on TRUCKIN!

The Accies Roll on some more

The mighty Edinburgh Accies continue their good form with wins over Gala and Kirkcaldy.

I was slightly apprehensive before the Gala game as they posed a real threat to our unbeaten run. Gala themselves were unbeaten but we were playing them at Raeburn Place. Over the course of the last few seasons, the Accies have made really good starts to the league campaigns before coming unstuck in the first big test and then the wheels have fallen off. This is what I was fearful of.

Gala did pose us problems but they only really scored from our mistakes - an interception try and a dodgy lineout. It was pleasing to win by the margin that we did, securing a bonus point and denying them one.

Kirkcaldy posed us different problems. We are top of the league and now everyone wants a piece of us. Beveridge Park is also never an easy place to pick up points. It was a glorious day for some good rugby though and we ran in three tries in the first half to lead 22-6 going into the break.

We made so many errors in the first half and conceded too many needless infringements so it was frustrating not to lead by more.

Kirkcaldy then got going and we continued to make errors. Defensively, we were just letting them come to us rather than closing the space and tackling them behind the gain line. They made their way up the field on a couple of occasions and scored two tries through the forwards to make it 20 - 22.

We then camped in their half for a while and scored what we thought was the bonus point try but it was chalked off for a foot in touch.

It was deeply disappointing not to put in a better performance but a win away from home is invaluable at any level of sport.

For more in-depth reports please click here - http://www.edinburghaccies.com/

This weekend we play Peebles at Raeburn Place. They are also unbeaten but they have drawn to Falkirk and sit third in the table. Another big test.

I wasn't going to go out after the Gala game but a few beers in the clubhouse led to me sleeping on the toilet in my flat, spewing Jagerbombs up. The spontaneous nights out are always dangerous. Drinking heavily on an empty stomach is not to be recommended either.

A lot of the Accies were in Dropkick Murphy's having a rare old time, sinking some peeve and attempting to trap a few quines. The Brothers Grimm got lucky with a few SWAMPS so I am told.

Dropkick Murphy's used to be called Bertie's which was the spiritual home of the original SWAMP DONKEY. I don't think much has changed to be fair.

Well after too many shots at the bar I decided to get my top off and start flailing aggressively on the dancefloor.

My moves were rudely interrupted when a small chubby fellow approached me and tapped me on the arm. We had the following conversation;

Him - "Is it hot in here?"

Poke - "Get fucked you fat little cunt."

Him - "Oh you are such a genial gentleman aren't you."

OFFENSIVE AND OUT.

   

The Accies roll on

Since my last post the Accies 1st XV have won another two games; v Biggar 38-18 and v GHA 29-10.

The Accies 2nd XV have unfortunately lost to Melrose and Dundee.

Please check http://www.edinburghaccies.com/ for more information on all the teams.

I thought Biggar were going to perform the 'Haka' before the kick-off because their team was laden with a clutch of New Zealanders and a giant 6ft 10inch Samoan who was built like a tank.

Biggar started with a flurry of aggression and plenty of cheap shots, late tackles and off the ball incidents. They thought they were hard but they were as soft as my first shite and it was a skitter. They only scored two tries because of our mistakes and they thought they were world beaters.

The shoe was soon on the other foot though. My foot landed heavily on the bicep of one of their kiwi centres when he was holding on to the ball after we had won a penalty and he didn't like that one bit. He was pretty aggrieved that I had stomped 10 aluminium studs right into his arm so he jumped up, saw how big I was and promptly shat himself before trotting back to his teammates muttering 'wanker'.

We were 18-0 down but then we got ourselves warmed up and ran in 38 unanswered points to put a bunch of second rate foreigners to the sword.

These second rate foreigners are keeping young Scottish talent out of teams. The clubs also pay loads of money to bring them to Scotland and keep them happy when that money could be spent on developing local rugby talent.

GHA had loads of them too. Kiwis, South Africans and who knows what else. Poor Steffon Armitage had to go off with a sore eye ball which reminds me of the most horrific movie plot I had ever read.

One of the young lads, who fancies himself as a bit of a shagger, made me aware of a film called 'A Serbian Film' before we got on the bus to GHA on Saturday morning. Look for it on Wikipedia and that is all that i am going to say on this matter. I was properly disgusted.

Anyway, against GHA we started reasonably well going into a 14-0 lead. We then had another bunch of gilt-edged chances to score tries that somehow slipped away from us.

There was a shaky spell just before and just after half-time but we moved away from leading 17-10 to finally winning 29-10 with a bonus point.

The mighty BOO-KAKKIES now sit top of the league on 14 points. A big, big test awaits on Saturday though when we play Gala (also unbeaten) at Raeburn Place.

A good opening win on the road

The Accies juggernaut rolled up to Rubislaw and lay waste to Aberdeen Grammar School FP RFC on the opening day of the league campaign.

Both teams won.

For a review then please read here - http://www.edinburghaccies.com/news/2010/08/22/1xv-and-2xv-both-win

There was then a monumental bus trip home with inordinate amounts of PEEVE sunk.

Big Poke took it upon himself to initiate Poke's Party Box which involved Gin n' Juice and Snoop Dogg's Gin n' Juice.

With so much drama in the LBC it's kinda hard bein' Snoop D O double G


But I somehow, some way, keep comin' up with funky-ass shit like every

single day

May I kick a little somethin' for the G's and make a few billions as I

breeze through

Two in the mornin' and the party's still jumpin' 'cause my mama ain't

home.

I got bitches in the livin' room gettin' it on

And they Ain't leavin' till 6 in the morning

So whatcha wanna do?

I got a pocket full of rubbers and my home boys do too

So turn off the lights and close the door

But for what--we don't love you hoes

Yeahhh so we gonna smoke an oucne to this

G's up hoes down while ya motherfuckas bounce to this.



Rollin' down the street smokin' endo sippin' on gin n juice

Laid back--with my mind on my money and my money on my mind



Rollin' down the street smokin' endo sippin' on gin n juice

Laid back--with my mind on my money and my money on my mind



Now that I got me some Seagram's gin

Everybody's got their cup but the ain't chipped in

Now this types of shit happens all the time

You gotta get yours before I gotta get mine

Everything is fine when you're listening to the D O G

I got to cultivate the music that be captivating

Who listens to the words that I speak

As I take me a drink to the middle of the street

And to mackin' this bitch named Sadi

She used to be the home boys' lady

{ah that bitch}

80 degress when I tell that bitch please

At ease

As I rhyme with the dog pound feel the breeze

bizatch

As I'm



Rollin' down the street smokin' endo sippin' on gin n juice

Laid back--with my mind on my money and my money on my mind



Rollin' down the street smokin' endo sippin' on gin n juice

Laid back--with my mind on my money and my money on my mind



Later on that day my homey Dr. Dre came through with a gang

And a fat-ass Jake of some bubonic chronic that made me choke

Shit--this ain't no dope-- I have to back up off of it and sit my cup

down

*** my chronic, yeah I'm fucked up now

But it ain't no stoppin'

I'm still droppin'

Dre gots the bitchs from the city of Compton

To serve me--not with a cherry on top

'Cause when I bust my nut



Don't get upset girl that's just how it goes

I don't love you hoes--I'm out the door

And I'll be...



Rollin' down the street smokin' endo sippin' on gin n juice

Laid back--with my mind on my money and my money on my mind



Rollin' down the street smokin' endo sippin' on gin n juice

Biyatch--with my mind on my money and my money on my mind



Rollin' down the street smokin' endo sippin' on gin n juice

Biyatch--with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.
 
Fantastic.
 
There were initiations galore with green ginger wine, boat races, spewing, bottles of port, stop offs, sing-songs, x-factor and a 20 minute naked bus.
 
After we got back to Raeburn Place, it was time to head to the TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP for a few hand-poured ales. Tidy.
 
I went home after a couple o ticht drams in Hamiltons but I'm hoping the rest of the lads went on their merry way into the town and defiled some Festival fluff.
 
On Sunday it was the Accies golf day and numbers were restricted due to extreme hangovers from the night before. Those who did make it were rewarded with fine weather and a good golfing experience at Swanston.
 
Next up for the Accies, the Chaccies, the Kakkies, the Boo-Kakkies is Biggar at Raeburn Place. The Diddlies have Melrose at Newfield. Hopefully see you in the bar afterwards!

Poke the Blog is back

Well the rugby season begins in earnest again tomorrow with the Accies 1st and 2nd XV's heading up to Aberdeen to play AGSFPRFC.

I fucking love acronyms so without further ado, it gives me great pleasure to announce GTF IAB.

His coaching days were over at the Accies but over the course of the time he spent down at Raeburn Place, there is no doubting that he did a fantastic job and definitely saved the club from falling into the lower, national leagues. So still GTF but well done on saving and resurrecting our great club.

That's right we have a new coach and what a good feeling he and his team have built up in preseason.  Still, all the good feeling in the world won't mean jack unless we do the business tomorrow so here is hoping for two fine victories.

New coaches - Simon Cross, Andrew Easson, Bob Easson, Andrew Kelly, Chris Flockhart.
New players - plenty

Major media upheaval here also - http://www.edinburghaccies.com/

The new season means Poke the Blog is back so please keep following for regular nonsense about rugby and life in general.

So what has happened since my last post? Basically, loads. Barcelona 7's, wedding preparation, business start ups, breaking records at work, preseason, a few raucous nights out and the Edinburgh Festival. That is what I do.

So that is about it so as my old pal Fentoni used to say;

Bye for now!

FIGJAM.

Rugby

Well Accies got relegated but enough of that already.

Long overdue changes are afoot at the rugby club and hopefully there will be announcements over the next few days / weeks.

The sevens season is coming to a gentle close and there are teams playing at Jed, Walkerburn and Oban before the BIG ONE in Barcelona on 27th May.

Before then I have Big Terry's wedding which should be a good day and night. Looking forward to it.

Wedding preparations

Wedding preparations are going well and it hasn't been too much hassle on my side to be honest.

To date we have the following booked;

• ceremony venue
• reception venue
• catering
• transportation
• band

We are seeing our last photographer on Wednesday night but I think our mind is already made up.

Then I think we can put our feet up for a while before arranging the finer details.

Bar Napoli

On the odd occasion we have been enjoying a rare and tidy feed at Bar Napoli after training.

http://www.bar-napoli.co.uk/

It's a favourite late night haunt for a post skite heck as well.

Bar Napoli is brilliant - the owners and the waiters all love us and they look after us really well. The owner even sponsored us for the upcoming trip to Barcelona for the Sevens - http://www.barcelonasevens.com/

He will have his Bar Napoli logo on the front of our jerseys.

We are going tonight and I quite fancy some of the following;

• bruschetta
• ribs
• calamari
• pasta
• milanese

Rare and tidy.

Rugby

Hot and cold from the Academicals once again in the last few weeks - a good result v Watsonians at Myreside - winning 3 - 7 - followed up by a defeat at home to Dundee losing 19 - 40.

Table here - http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/tables/4777199.stm

A must win game for the Academicals on Friday night away to Hawks - not an easy assignment especially as Hawks walloped us at home.

I'm not sure that our luck will hold out if we have to try and salvage Premier 1 status in the last match of the season.

The coach is blaming everyone but himself which is nice as we all know it is all his fault - three seasons running of misery, boredom and relegation battles. We all know your coaching and motivation doesn't work - please just do us all a favour and fuck off into a nice administrative role like organising the BATS junior teams.

Scotland have performed quite well in the Six Nations but haven't got the results. Table below. Hopefully Thom Evans will recover from his neck injury v Wales.

Six nations table here - http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/4779371.stm

Swamp Hunters

I asked for stories from the Swamp Hunters exploits on Saturday night and I received two responses. These responses follow below. Names have been removed for legal purposes.

"----- slayed more of a swamp monster rather than a swamp beast."

"I only managed a bit of passionate snogging/ light petting of a swampy in Why Not after telling her I was a trainee helicopter pilot in the RAF. As much as she loved that shite banter, it just wasn't enough for her to take her pants down. I did however, manage to pump a swampy on Monday night after going round to hers for a sober bang."

Lovely work fellas. I hope that this is the start of a purple patch for you.

Bill McLaren RIP

Bill McLaren RIP

What an awesome commentator and an absolute gentleman.

Testimonials and stories can be found on the Scotsman website - http://www.scotsman.com/

You can also join various groups on Facebook to acknowledge what he has done for the game of rugby football.

Rugby

350 up - happy days.

The 1st XV lost to Currie at home at the weekend. I was watching and some of the Currie tries were debatable.

As Watsonians also won the Accies are now back in a relegation dogfight as per the last three seasons even though we have a squad capable of challenging for honours. Unfortunately the coaching doesn't permit players to reach their potential either as an individual or as a team. I predicted this situation to Granite during preseason and I have been proved correct.

If any of the committee actually cared about the club, why do they let the current regime continue?

Table here - http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/tables/4777199.stm

Moving on, the Burns Supper went well and everyone seemed to enjoy it. I haven't heard back from the table of SWAMP HUNTERS who headed in to town to try their luck with the ladies.

Any stories lads?

Rugby

Well the snow and ice has all but gone and there is a chance that Edinburgh Accies v Boroughmuir will go ahead tomorrow. I haven't seen Raeburn Place yet but a close working relationship in the past leads me to deduce that it will be pretty muddy with perhaps puddles in places.

It is good to see 'Sonia' back in the side at full back and hopefully he will have a positive bearing on the outcome for the Accies.

Congratulations to the Viking as well - back from his engagement honeymoon in Argentina. I believe that he has some amusing stories about the Equinox and I am looking forward to hearing them.

The 2nd XV game also v Boroughmuir is touch and go at the moment depending on how playable Newfield is.

I won't be playing as I am doing a SRU coaching course at Murrayfield all weekend. Time to put my money where my mouth is...? Who knows?!

The rugby club Burns Supper is the next social event and we have a piper, a flautist and some quality speakers, food and drink so why not get yourself along to Raeburn Place after the Currie games on the 23rd January? £25 pp for four courses, tea/coffee and wine + all entertainment!

Good luck lads!

Roxxy Robot

Anyone got one of these?

http://www.buzzybloggers.com/technology/967/roxxxy-robot-girlfriend-debuts-photo-and-pics/

Why did they style it on Matt Lucas of Little Britain fame?

Weather

All this snow, ice and cold can get straight to fuck.

Rugby

There hasn't been much rugby played in Edinburgh over the last month or so. There has been a lot of snow and the ground has been frozen solid for a while now.

With temperatures of -10 degrees centigrade forecast I doubt that there will be much rugby played over the next few weeks either.

We could build a scale 'snowman' of our beloved coach on Raeburn Place instead of training.

Ungh.

Avatar

I went to see Avatar last night with my fiance.

It was the first film that I had seen in 3-D so I had to perch my 3-D "frog-skin" style spectacles on top of my prescription spectacles.

The 3-D effects were good and the film was good.

Well done to everyone involved.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Season's greetings to you all.