Friday night I went to see the Time Traveller's Wife with the girlfriend. I found this film to be boring and confusing. If Eric Bana can go back and forth in time to unscrupulously win the lottery then surely he can save his mother from dying in a car crash. I got lost midway through the film when all of a sudden there were 2 or 3 different Eric Bana's time travelling all over the place.
As always, the book is apparently better than the film.
Saturday I played rugby at North Berwick and I totally fucked my back after it being sore last week. I came off at half time and spent the rest of the weekend like an octogenarian.
Three months of fitness, running and gym work and now i am injured and back to square 1. Not happy.
Being immobile on Sunday meant that I could watch a lot of the World Championship Athletics. Usain Bolt must be from a different planet. He barely looks like he is even sprinting and yet blasted his own WR out of the water.
Jess Ennis was pretty awesome in the heptathlon also and good on her for getting Gold. Her mate Hazel looked pretty annoying on the BBC coverage - jumping on her bandwagon after winning the Gold.
I like the confidence that the 100m sprinters show in the heats and the final - gesticulating to the crowd and the cameras when their name and lane number is announced - along with heavyweight boxers they must be the most confident and arrogant sportsmen going.
Then the cameras panned in to Usain's Puma spikes - he has 'who faster?' embroidered in each heel!
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
Friday, 14 August 2009
Friday
Well it's my favourite day of the working week.
This Friday is even more important as I will be spending the next nine calendar days at my leisure.
That's right - NO WORK UNTIL MONDAY 24TH AUGUST.
I feel magnificent right now.
This Friday is even more important as I will be spending the next nine calendar days at my leisure.
That's right - NO WORK UNTIL MONDAY 24TH AUGUST.
I feel magnificent right now.
Thursday, 13 August 2009
Scotland
Scotland got humped at football last night. The wheels fell off when Gary Caldwell was apparently unjustly red carded and Norway scored from the resulting free kick.
Scotland ended up losing 4-0.
The Tartan Army in Oslo will have been crying into their £5.88 pints after that - http://www.pintprice.com/region.php?/Norway/GBP.htm
I don't know why I'm writing about this in the first place. I despise nedball.
I like Scotland though.
Scotland ended up losing 4-0.
The Tartan Army in Oslo will have been crying into their £5.88 pints after that - http://www.pintprice.com/region.php?/Norway/GBP.htm
I don't know why I'm writing about this in the first place. I despise nedball.
I like Scotland though.
Sore Back
You may have heard of a bear with a sore head well I am a Poke with a sore back.
My lower back has been sore since last Saturday's rugby training and it doesn't seem to be getting much better. I have had problems with it in the past and it just seems to be a reoccurence.
I am struggling to put my underwear on in the morning due to the stiffness and soreness.
At work I have been sitting on golf balls and tennis balls, much to the amusement of my colleagues, to try and ease the tension in my glutes, hamstrings and spinal vertebrae.
I am also doing 'happy cat, angry cat' stretches.
Hopefully the physio will make some progress with it tonight.
My lower back has been sore since last Saturday's rugby training and it doesn't seem to be getting much better. I have had problems with it in the past and it just seems to be a reoccurence.
I am struggling to put my underwear on in the morning due to the stiffness and soreness.
At work I have been sitting on golf balls and tennis balls, much to the amusement of my colleagues, to try and ease the tension in my glutes, hamstrings and spinal vertebrae.
I am also doing 'happy cat, angry cat' stretches.
Hopefully the physio will make some progress with it tonight.
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
Weekend
Another weekend full of activity!
On a glorious Saturday morning we had another long and arduous rugby training session. The pitches are like concrete at the moment because of the recent lack of rain. This is pretty tough on my old joints and I have been experiencing some lower back pain since Saturday's session.
After rugby the missus and I went to Peckhams - http://www.peckhams.co.uk/RP1.html - to get some food and drinks to take to the Botanical Gardens - http://www.rbge.org.uk/ and laze about in the sun.
On Saturday night it was Ralf's 30th birthday and the big oaf couldn't decide whether he was coming or going. Eventually we met up with him in the Pleasance Courtyard and got stuck into a few drinks.
The Pleasance Courtyard and indeed the whole of Edinburgh's city centre is now hoaching because of the Festival - http://www.edfringe.com/ . Edinburgh is certainly a good place to be during the month of August.
After that we went along to check out the Hullaballoo (replacing the Spiegle Tent) and the Udderbelly.
After walking from the Pleasance to George Square, my bladder was fit to burst and what followed was probably one of the most undignified moments of my career to date.
I decided to relieve myself in an Edinburgh University building opposite the entrance to the Hullaballoo. I was just about to release a pent-up jet of steaming piss when my mate shouted on me.
I turned round to see two police officers walking towards me so I pinched the flow without any liquid actually hitting the ground. The police officer told me that I was particularly lucky as if any piss had hit the floor then I would be eligible for a £40 pound fine.
On a glorious Saturday morning we had another long and arduous rugby training session. The pitches are like concrete at the moment because of the recent lack of rain. This is pretty tough on my old joints and I have been experiencing some lower back pain since Saturday's session.
After rugby the missus and I went to Peckhams - http://www.peckhams.co.uk/RP1.html - to get some food and drinks to take to the Botanical Gardens - http://www.rbge.org.uk/ and laze about in the sun.
On Saturday night it was Ralf's 30th birthday and the big oaf couldn't decide whether he was coming or going. Eventually we met up with him in the Pleasance Courtyard and got stuck into a few drinks.
The Pleasance Courtyard and indeed the whole of Edinburgh's city centre is now hoaching because of the Festival - http://www.edfringe.com/ . Edinburgh is certainly a good place to be during the month of August.
After that we went along to check out the Hullaballoo (replacing the Spiegle Tent) and the Udderbelly.
After walking from the Pleasance to George Square, my bladder was fit to burst and what followed was probably one of the most undignified moments of my career to date.
I decided to relieve myself in an Edinburgh University building opposite the entrance to the Hullaballoo. I was just about to release a pent-up jet of steaming piss when my mate shouted on me.
I turned round to see two police officers walking towards me so I pinched the flow without any liquid actually hitting the ground. The police officer told me that I was particularly lucky as if any piss had hit the floor then I would be eligible for a £40 pound fine.
I then removed my hand from my erstwhile chum and aforementioned jet of piss spurted out and soaked my underwear and trousers. The police found this hilarious as did my friends and my girlfriend.
We headed to the Udderbelly after that for a few more drinks. Both the Pleasance and the Udderbelly tick all the boxes for me. Ralfy and co headed to Opal Lounge after that but me and the missus just headed home via the chippy.
Sunday morning I went to collect my bike then read the papers and then went to the cinema to watch The Ugly Truth - predictable but worth watching none the less.
Now it's back to work - boooooooooooooo
Friday, 7 August 2009
Rugby
Most of the players at the rugby club are getting aggravated about the lack of thought, planning and relevance of our rugby training at the moment.
A few more players have come out of the woodwork and made their thoughts quite clear to the Head Coach and he isn't happy.
He is one of the most stubborn and steadfast mofo's i have ever met. The last two seasons we have managed to avoid getting relegated by the skin of our teeth and yet he is still loathe to change his stance. This is despite having one of the best squads in the league.
We are two weeks away from our first fixture. I am going to make no more complaints. If I am asked my opinion it will be given but I am going to play the way that suits the team and me best.
Training will be a barrel of laughs tomorrow no doubt.
It's lunchtime and it's Friday. The clock is ticking until 17.30.
A few more players have come out of the woodwork and made their thoughts quite clear to the Head Coach and he isn't happy.
He is one of the most stubborn and steadfast mofo's i have ever met. The last two seasons we have managed to avoid getting relegated by the skin of our teeth and yet he is still loathe to change his stance. This is despite having one of the best squads in the league.
We are two weeks away from our first fixture. I am going to make no more complaints. If I am asked my opinion it will be given but I am going to play the way that suits the team and me best.
Training will be a barrel of laughs tomorrow no doubt.
It's lunchtime and it's Friday. The clock is ticking until 17.30.
Beetroot
Beetroot at Tescos Canonmills is currently 4 packets for £2 so I bought some to augment my lunchbox.
I have eaten a packet a day with my lunch for the last three days and my bodily functions have changed significantly.
Every morning my jet of piss looks like Darth Maul's light sabre - http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/Darth_Maul-lightsaber.jpg and my jobbies are big hard purple chunks of fury.
However, this is tempered by the fact that beetroot is helping my sport - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8186947.stm
Everyone at the rugby club will be advised to start on the beetroot ASAP!
I have eaten a packet a day with my lunch for the last three days and my bodily functions have changed significantly.
Every morning my jet of piss looks like Darth Maul's light sabre - http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/Darth_Maul-lightsaber.jpg and my jobbies are big hard purple chunks of fury.
However, this is tempered by the fact that beetroot is helping my sport - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8186947.stm
Everyone at the rugby club will be advised to start on the beetroot ASAP!
Crime
More Dalry crime to report I'm afraid.
http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/latestnews/Woman-hostage-is-39held-at.5528281.jp
This occured about 2 minutes walk from my flat and I actually witnessed the police cars and ambulances whizzing past as I was cycling home from work.
http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/latestnews/Woman-hostage-is-39held-at.5528281.jp
This occured about 2 minutes walk from my flat and I actually witnessed the police cars and ambulances whizzing past as I was cycling home from work.
Work
Back to work on Wednesday and I was delighted to learn that Stomper is leaving on the 28th August. I have been asked for a contribution for her leaving present and I will gladly oblige!
Roll on her last day.
I wonder what excuse that I can dream up to avoid her leaving party...
Roll on her last day.
I wonder what excuse that I can dream up to avoid her leaving party...
Monday & Tuesday off
Monday was a bank holiday so I had the day off work. This was much needed after the brutal double header at the weekend.
It was a laid back affair - G8C came round to shoot the breeze and we just sat and watched the cricket, ate Dominos and slept.
It was good to catch up with him as he is about to head off to Kuala Lumpur for a new job. Good luck and hopefully I'll head out to visit soon!
Tuesday I went to the gym for 'Kite Club' and tidied my flat. In the evening I had rugby training and in the warm up more and more stories were coming out about the weekend nights out.
On Friday night in the Fantasy Palace, I apparently told one of the strippers that she was 'shite' whilst receiving a lesbian show with one of my friends. The poor girl then just concentrated all her efforts on her colleague and my friend muttering how rude I was.
On contemplation, I don't think that I would be best pleased if someone came up to me in my place of work and told me how inadequate I was at my job.
The rugby training was then more of the same dated and boring nonsense that we had come to expect from our larger than life Head Coach. Anticipation was high after a good and varied pre-season but now that he is back in the frame, the players are getting irked again.
It was a laid back affair - G8C came round to shoot the breeze and we just sat and watched the cricket, ate Dominos and slept.
It was good to catch up with him as he is about to head off to Kuala Lumpur for a new job. Good luck and hopefully I'll head out to visit soon!
Tuesday I went to the gym for 'Kite Club' and tidied my flat. In the evening I had rugby training and in the warm up more and more stories were coming out about the weekend nights out.
On Friday night in the Fantasy Palace, I apparently told one of the strippers that she was 'shite' whilst receiving a lesbian show with one of my friends. The poor girl then just concentrated all her efforts on her colleague and my friend muttering how rude I was.
On contemplation, I don't think that I would be best pleased if someone came up to me in my place of work and told me how inadequate I was at my job.
The rugby training was then more of the same dated and boring nonsense that we had come to expect from our larger than life Head Coach. Anticipation was high after a good and varied pre-season but now that he is back in the frame, the players are getting irked again.
The Gimp's Birthday
I picked the girlfriend up and we started walking to Cargo before an entrepreneurial rickshaw cyclist touted us for a ride so we hopped in as he was heading in the same direction.
Once I had cut a swathe through the inevitable small talk, I started on the double Havana Club and ginger beer. My new favourite alcoholic drink.
Cargo was pretty lively with around 20 of us there for the Gimp's birthday. This number was augmented by a clutch of hen nights and the rest of the mob from the rugby club bbq.
It was pretty enjoyable as the music in Cargo was good and everyone seemed hellbent on having a good time.
After Cargo closed there was a bit of a decision to be made about where to head next. The Cavendish, Fingers, home and The Opal Lounge were the main contenders. I went to Grand Cru.
I must just have missed this - http://www.thesun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/2568371/Derek-Riordan-arrested-for-a-breach-of-the-peace.html
Dirty little ned.
I didn't miss one of the rugby lads walk straight over the Mercedes belonging to the Head Chef at Bar Napoli however.
I scarpered home after that.
Once I had cut a swathe through the inevitable small talk, I started on the double Havana Club and ginger beer. My new favourite alcoholic drink.
Cargo was pretty lively with around 20 of us there for the Gimp's birthday. This number was augmented by a clutch of hen nights and the rest of the mob from the rugby club bbq.
It was pretty enjoyable as the music in Cargo was good and everyone seemed hellbent on having a good time.
After Cargo closed there was a bit of a decision to be made about where to head next. The Cavendish, Fingers, home and The Opal Lounge were the main contenders. I went to Grand Cru.
I must just have missed this - http://www.thesun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/2568371/Derek-Riordan-arrested-for-a-breach-of-the-peace.html
Dirty little ned.
I didn't miss one of the rugby lads walk straight over the Mercedes belonging to the Head Chef at Bar Napoli however.
I scarpered home after that.
Thursday, 6 August 2009
Club BBQ 2
A few more beers were drunk and a few more burgers were eaten and it turned into a very pleasant afternoon.
As is tradition at rugby clubs, the new players were then initiated. New players had to stand on a chair, introduce themselves to us (shagging stories, STD's contracted, nicknames etc). Drinks were lined up on both trylines and the newbies had to down drinks, run to the far tryline and down drinks then run back and down more drinks.
The final drink to down was Buckfast and one poor chap spewed the chunky contents of his stomach all over the in-goal area. The chunky vomit was swiftly set upon by a very hungry seagull. It was probably the best feed it had had in years.
The unfortunate losers of the race then had to chug more peeve.
As I fell out with the Head Coach last season and left the club, I was admonished / welcomed back with a bottle of Buckfast - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buckfast_Tonic_Wine . It was the first time I had ever tasted Buckfast and I can safely say it will be the last.
I only managed half the bottle before every smell of the foul substance resulted in an outbreak of dry heaving.
I then cycled back to my flat to get changed for the Gimp's birthday party.
As is tradition at rugby clubs, the new players were then initiated. New players had to stand on a chair, introduce themselves to us (shagging stories, STD's contracted, nicknames etc). Drinks were lined up on both trylines and the newbies had to down drinks, run to the far tryline and down drinks then run back and down more drinks.
The final drink to down was Buckfast and one poor chap spewed the chunky contents of his stomach all over the in-goal area. The chunky vomit was swiftly set upon by a very hungry seagull. It was probably the best feed it had had in years.
The unfortunate losers of the race then had to chug more peeve.
As I fell out with the Head Coach last season and left the club, I was admonished / welcomed back with a bottle of Buckfast - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buckfast_Tonic_Wine . It was the first time I had ever tasted Buckfast and I can safely say it will be the last.
I only managed half the bottle before every smell of the foul substance resulted in an outbreak of dry heaving.
I then cycled back to my flat to get changed for the Gimp's birthday party.
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
Club BBQ
Because I was so rough I missed training at the rugby club. I headed down to the club at around 4pm as there was a BBQ on.
It was fortunate that I had missed training as it was all team games where the winners / losers / scorers had to drink cider at the coach's discretion.
Lying on the grass in the sun, supping an ice cold can of Tennents and eating a freshly prepared burger, I was beginning to feel a bit better.
As G8C lives close to the rugby club I gave him a call but he was as rough as hell, tucked up with a chippy and not going anywhere. He said that after Fantasy Palace, they all went to Lulu and it degenerated significantly with Daddi to the fore.
It was fortunate that I had missed training as it was all team games where the winners / losers / scorers had to drink cider at the coach's discretion.
Lying on the grass in the sun, supping an ice cold can of Tennents and eating a freshly prepared burger, I was beginning to feel a bit better.
As G8C lives close to the rugby club I gave him a call but he was as rough as hell, tucked up with a chippy and not going anywhere. He said that after Fantasy Palace, they all went to Lulu and it degenerated significantly with Daddi to the fore.
Friday Night
My memories of last Friday night are a little hazy.
I cycled home, showered, got the glad rags on, bought a bottle of gin and headed round to the V's.
It was good to see G8C, V, Tel, Aldo et al and the drinks were flowing freely. Tel and I polished off the gin before we left to go bowling at 8.15pm. Aldo and I bought some beek and smoked one each as we strode purposefully towards the entertainment mecca that is Megabowl.
It was my first beek for a while so I got a fairly spinny heed.
This helped as I dealt with the vicious she-ned who was manning the shoe exchange.
There were 8 of us in total so we split into 4 teams of 2 and the names that went on the scoreboard were;
Sir Boaby Robson
Michael Jackson
Stephen Hawking
Lady Di
The bowling was pretty amusing; balls sailing over three different lanes to the left and right, balls bouncing once then smashing into the pins and the rack, etc etc. Towards the end, the Polish bouncers were keeping a very close eye on our reckless behaviour.
My personal highlight was getting a strike with a backwards, through the legs POWER bowl.
All the while we were merrily chinning bottles of lager and foul shots and I was pretty drunk when we headed to the Cargo Bar.
The gin had taken it's toll on my memory at this point and I can't remember anything about Cargo Bar.
Next stop was the Fantasy Palace. Again, limited memory of what happened in here but I vaguely remember getting some drinks and then going for a lapdance with one of the other lads. Vague recollections of chatting to Daddi at the bar and I then remember chatting to someone outside for ages before stumbling home via the takeaway for chicken pakora and chips.
My girlfriend's account of the later part of the evening;
"You phoned me on your way home asking if I wanted any food from the takeaway. I said no but then when you got back you asked me if I wanted any of your chicken pakora and chips. Again, my reply was no. After eating some of the food, you got into bed and fell asleep before I heard the sound of dry retching. I woke you up and sent you to the toilet where you covered the floor, bin, sink and toilet with red vomit. After you returned to bed, I cleaned most of the sick off the floor but there was more when I got up in the morning!"
Sorry about that.
I woke up reasonably early on the Saturday morning but I was in a bad, bad place.
I cycled home, showered, got the glad rags on, bought a bottle of gin and headed round to the V's.
It was good to see G8C, V, Tel, Aldo et al and the drinks were flowing freely. Tel and I polished off the gin before we left to go bowling at 8.15pm. Aldo and I bought some beek and smoked one each as we strode purposefully towards the entertainment mecca that is Megabowl.
It was my first beek for a while so I got a fairly spinny heed.
This helped as I dealt with the vicious she-ned who was manning the shoe exchange.
There were 8 of us in total so we split into 4 teams of 2 and the names that went on the scoreboard were;
Sir Boaby Robson
Michael Jackson
Stephen Hawking
Lady Di
The bowling was pretty amusing; balls sailing over three different lanes to the left and right, balls bouncing once then smashing into the pins and the rack, etc etc. Towards the end, the Polish bouncers were keeping a very close eye on our reckless behaviour.
My personal highlight was getting a strike with a backwards, through the legs POWER bowl.
All the while we were merrily chinning bottles of lager and foul shots and I was pretty drunk when we headed to the Cargo Bar.
The gin had taken it's toll on my memory at this point and I can't remember anything about Cargo Bar.
Next stop was the Fantasy Palace. Again, limited memory of what happened in here but I vaguely remember getting some drinks and then going for a lapdance with one of the other lads. Vague recollections of chatting to Daddi at the bar and I then remember chatting to someone outside for ages before stumbling home via the takeaway for chicken pakora and chips.
My girlfriend's account of the later part of the evening;
"You phoned me on your way home asking if I wanted any food from the takeaway. I said no but then when you got back you asked me if I wanted any of your chicken pakora and chips. Again, my reply was no. After eating some of the food, you got into bed and fell asleep before I heard the sound of dry retching. I woke you up and sent you to the toilet where you covered the floor, bin, sink and toilet with red vomit. After you returned to bed, I cleaned most of the sick off the floor but there was more when I got up in the morning!"
Sorry about that.
I woke up reasonably early on the Saturday morning but I was in a bad, bad place.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
